Eight Ways to Woo Your Second in Command
by Regularamanda
Summary: Jack has a plan to Woo his 2IC. UST. Humor. Sam and Jack.


_Author's Note- Just a touch of sillyness. Don't take too seriously! The bolded is what he has written and the italics is what he's remembering. I posted this story but I didn't realized I spelled 'woe' instead of 'woo' so I deleted the whole thing to make sure the change took, anyway here it is!  
_

**Eight Ways to Woo Your Second in Command**_  
_

Colonel Jack O'Neill walked into the elevator with his hands in his pockets and a grin plastered on his face. Major Samantha Carter shot him a confused look as she came into the elevator behind him.

"You seem happy sir." Sam said.

"Oh yeah." Jack said.

"Why?"

"Why do you seem so surprised by that? I'm a very happy individual." Jack said smugly.

"Of course." Sam said biting back a laugh.

"Do I detect sarcasm there Major?" He said teasing her.

"Never sir."

"Riiiight." Jack said with a fake roll of his eyes.

And he was very happy in fact. Considering the list that a few weeks before he had made and had put into effect and which was working perfectly. His grin broaden as he remembered what he had written down.

**8 Ways to Woo Your Second in Command**

**8. Bring her a cup of blue Jello every day, even when you're off world.**

_They were on PX something or other when he found her. She was trying to figure out…something. He really had no idea what it did but it was supposed to do with all that meaning of life stuff._

"_Working hard again?" He said._

"_Yes." She said as she paused to look up at him and let out a frustrated breath. "I can't get it to work sir, the physics is so far beyond us…_

"_You'll figure it out…you always do." He said as he pulled his most charming grin on her._

_Well…it would have been his most charming grin if she'd actually been looking at him. _

"_Not this time sir." She said with another sigh._

"_Hey Carter take a break." Jack said gently._

"_I don't have time to. This could hold the key that we've been looking for sir."_

"_As great as that is, it'll still be here in an hour. Don't make me make that an order." He said as he walked over to his backpack._

"_Sir…" She said starting to argue._

_Jack rummaged around in his backpack. He knew he had put it in here…now where the Hell was it. There it was! He quickly held it behind his back and walked up to her._

"_Ah! I know you can make some time for this." He said as he held out his hand to her._

_She smiled when she realized exactly what it was._

_A snack pack of blue Jello._

_Sam took the offered treat and spoon and smiled at him._

"_Thank you sir." She said softly._

"_I brought my favorite as well." Jack said with a grin as he pulled the snack pack of red Jello out from behind him as well._

"_Now tell me what you're working on."_

"_Are you sure you really want to know?" Sam said with raised eyebrows._

"_Always Carter." Jack said softly._

_And he meant it._

**Note: Remember to pack blue Jello more often.**

**7. Make her laugh with lame and corny jokes. **

"_Hey Carter?" Jack said as they were walking through the woods on some unexplored planet._

"_Yes sir."_

"_Do you like science fiction shows?"_

_Sam sent him a confused sideways glance. "Not really…but you already know that."_

"_True." Jack said agreeing with her._

_The continued on for a few minutes before Jack spoke again. "Hey Carter?"_

"_Yes sir." Sam said with a small smile._

"_knock Knock." Jack said with a grin. _

_Sam stopped and turned to look a him. "Sir? Aren't we a little too old for knock knock jokes?"_

"_Just answer it." He said with a twinkle in his eyes._

"_Who's there?" She said with a sigh._

"_Doctor."_

"_Doctor Who."_

"_I thought you said you didn't like science fiction shows?" Jack said with a grin._

_She blinked her eyes at him and then smiled. Not just an ordinary smile but her full fledge Carter grin. She laughed softly and shook her head at him. _

**Note: You don't see those eyes of hers sparkle nearly enough.**

**6. Ask her out on lunch dat…meetings.**

"_Ah Carter!" Jack said as he jogged up to her. Good she hadn't left yet. "Going home?" He asked._

"_Yes."_

"_Want to have lunch?" Jack asked hopefully._

_She stopped walking and looked around the corridor._

_What? He wasn't asking her on a date…it was two friends having lunch together._

_Mostly._

"_A date?"_

"_No! No…two friends going to lunch…a lunch _meeting_." Jack said hurriedly._

"_A lunch meeting?" She said laughing._

"_Yes…how about it Major?" He said as he stuffed his hands in his stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned back on the balls of his feet. _

"_I'd like that Colonel." Sam said with a nod of her head._

"_Sweet. Commissary?"_

"_Sounds good." She said as she started walking again._

"_Supposedly their macaroni casserole is to die for." Jack said as he leaned close to her, pretending to whisper a secret._

**Note: Under no circumstances call them a date. You're not "dating" your 2IC.**

**5. Off world, always be paired with her.**

"_So Carter and I will go north and Teal'c and Daniel can go south." Jack said with a nod of his head._

"_Um…Jack?" Daniel said awkwardly._

"_Yes Daniel?"_

"_Why do you always get pair yourself with Sam? Maybe one of us want to be paired with her." Daniel said awkwardly._

_Sam looked at Jack expectantly and he felt the heat rise to his cheeks. He cleared his throat. "Well…the two military leaders should be together…it just makes sense." Jack said annoyed._

"_No it isn't." Daniel said with a shake of his head_

"_Yes it is."_

"_No."_

"_Yes." Jack said loudly._

_Sam smiled at them both and shaking her head as she walked away._

"_So…why do you always get paired with her?" Daniel said once more._

_Jack sighed. "Because I can. Now go with T."_

"_It's nothing more than that…" Daniel started to say but was interrupted by the look that Jack shot him. _

"_Fine it's nothing…nothing at all." Daniel said rolling his eyes in the process._

_Jack smirked at their retreating backs and quickly followed after his lovely 2IC so he could watch her equally lovely six. _

**Note: If Space Monkey complains anymore be sure to remind him that you have access to a zat.**

**4. Play with her doohickeys.**

"_Whatja doing?" Jack asked as he walked into her lab and sat across from her._

"_Working…shouldn't you be doing that sir?" Sam said with a grin._

"_I'll have you know I finished all my reports." He said smugly._

"_Even the ones from last week that you never got around to doing?" She said innocently. _

_Damn._

_He squinted his eyes at her. "Okay I'm not all the way finished." _

"_Thought so sir." Sam said with a laugh. _

_Jack leaned against her desk and looked around at her doohickeys scattered on it. His eyes were immediately drawn to the shiny round blue object. He carefully picked it up and moved it around in his hands. Seeing the crease in the middle of the ball he turned it._

_At the distinctive cracking sound Carter looked up at him with wide eyes._

"_Opps." Jack said quietly._

**Note: Do not play with doohickeys that she's working on at the time, you'll break them again.**

**3. Ask her repeatedly to go fishing.**

"_Any plans for your leave Carter?" Jack asked as they sat in the briefing room._

"_Work sir." Sam said with a shrug._

"_How about fishing…cabin in Minnesota."_

_Alone._

_Which probably wasn't the best idea ever. Being stuck with your 2IC that you're in love with in a rustic cabin with no one around for miles. That was just asking for trouble._

"_Sorry. I have lots of things to get finished."_

"_You know if I didn't know better I'd swear that you always look for excuses to get out of this." He said._

"_No…I just have things to do sir. Work…things to do around the house." Sam said not meeting his eyes._

"_I ordered you to get a life." _

"_And I do have a life." Sam said defensively._

_Jack smiled softly at her. "Sitting around your house reading _Popular Mechanics _does not constitute having a life."_

_Red flooded Sam's cheeks and Jack knew that he was right. She did sit around and read _Popular Mechanics _in her spare time._

_Jack tried not to snicker. _

"_So?" Jack said hopefully._

"_Maybe some other time sir." Sam said quietly._

"_Sure Carter." He said equally as soft. _

_He wondered if it would always be 'some other time'._

**Note: You have completely pure intensions (mostly)**

**2. Make her feel special.**

_Jack quickly popped his head into Sam's lab and seeing that she wasn't there, quickly entered. _

_He walked to her desk and carefully sat the plant on an empty part of her desk. He took a step back and put his hands on his waist, admiring the plant that he had picked out. _

_He'd known she liked plants, even claimed to talk to them. Which is why he had a little card attacked to it._

His name is Homer…give him a good home.

_Yup he'd done a good job…_

"_Oh sorry sir I didn't know you were in here." A voice said from the doorway._

_Jack quickly turned around to see Siler at the door._

"_I just came to give Major Carter these." Siler said nervously as he showed him the mechanic specs._

"_Ah." _

"_Plant from you sir?"_

"_What? No…I mean…uh…" Jack said stalling._

_Crap._

_That's all he needed getting around the base, about Colonel O'Neill giving his 2IC a plant…they'd think he was soft._

_Jack cleared his throat. "Hey Siler do you like The Simpsons?" _

"_Yes sir." Siler said with a bob of his head._

_Jack grinned. "Great! So here's the plan…you don't let this get around and…"_

**Note: Remember to put Siler in your will for the entire VHS collection.**

**1. Tell her how much she means to you.**

_He'd never been able to say the words out loud. Hell he'd probably never be able to say them. _

_Only once had he ever come close to saying how he felt for her. _

I'd rather die.

_But he'd said it in so many other uncountable ways before and since._

_When he'd smile at her. When he's just take a moment to look at her when she was working on a project._

_Those carefully placed touches, each one sending an electric spark through him. _

_Those silly jokes just to hear that laugh from her._

_Standing close to her when they were off world. Trusting that if something happened and they were attacked she could take care of herself but never venturing further away then necessary, just in case._

_And every thing he's done over the past few years has all been pointing to how he felt about her. _

_Everything he felt, that he couldn't speak out loud was shown in plenty of ways._

**Note: She has no idea what she does to you.**

Jack rolled back on the backs of his heels and hummed.

Yup his plan was going perfectly.

He stuck his hand in his pocket,and realized that he didn't have the paper with them. It had been there this morning now where the hell had it gone…

Sam cleared her throat.

"Sir?" She said uneasily.

Jack turned to face her and his eyes were immediately drawn to the paper in the her hands.

The crumbled up piece of notebook paper…with his hand writing on it.

Crap.

"Eight ways to woo your second in command?" She said with annoyance.

Uh Oh.

"Uh…Carter…it was a joke…" Jack said as he swallowed. How was he supposed to get out of this one.

"You have completely pure intentions….mostly?" She said her voice raising an octave.

"I was bored…and you _know_ how I get when I'm bored…and…" He said desperately.

"How am I supposed to take this sir?" Sam said with a touch of anger.

"As a joke..." Jack was cut off with the angry look she shot him.

This was bad. She was not happy.

"I'm sorry." Jack said softly.

"Has this been some kind of game you're been playing?" She said equally as soft.

"No!" He said sincerely. "It's not a game, I…"

Love you.

He definitely could not say that.

The elevator doors swung open and Sam passed the paper back to him. She walked out and turned around to face him.

And that's when he noticed the teasing light in her eyes.

"It worked." She said with a grin and walked off.

Jack stood like an idiot in the elevator with his mouth hung open until the doors slowly started to shut. He quickly stopped the doors and walked after her, a grin on his face.

His plan had worked after all.

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_Author's Note- Thanks for reading and if you liked it let me know!_


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